I guess I feel…
I feel overwhelmed with all of the school work I have to do, and my mouth really hurts a lot, but for some reason I feel like I can deal with the school stuff. Miriam is coming over soon and she’s going to help me with my homework, and the rest is just studying for old quizzes I need to make up. I don’t even care if I do well on them, I just have zeros in the grade book which makes my physics grade look stupid. I also have to play for Wiebener on friday but I really really really like the piece I’m playing so I’ll actually practice!
I am for sure admitted to University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign. They told me after my audition that I got into the school of music but I got like an official email about the University today, which still felt good. They have a kickass opera program and I’m probably going to go there. Plus, there’s a pancheros in Urbana Illinois, which will just be a cute little reminder of Iowa City whenever I need it.
The sad news is, I had to cancel singing with the orchestra in Davenport in a few weeks. My voice teacher told me my mouth won’t be healed enough (I would agree) and also I have to learn a piece for it that I don’t already know and I just don’t feel like I’ll be ready. I asked if I could do Voi Che Sapete and she said no because they don’t have the full score for the orchy :/ I am really pretty disappointed, I know that I won’t be able to sing with my high school orchestra and this was really like…my only chance until maybe I’m an adult. That really sucks. Also I bought this beautiful dress for the occasion, which was also going to be my prom dress until well…I’m not going to prom anymore. So I won’t get to wear it ever, except maybe for my senior recital, but that’s a bit fancy. I’m not sure.
I’m also just really really lonely and confused all of the time and I don’t get the answers to anything. Also I’m high on pain meds and they make my tummy hurt.
Life is seriously fucking weird.
